I will always make sure I have money for meds and take them (being a scientist in the medical field is good for something) and I spent a good portion of my life finding ways to fight this battle without medication long before I was diagnosed. However, no worries – while the ugly monster may be in my head, I won’t do the dirty deed. Now I look for a job although the feelings are worse (b/c no insurance and dwindling money add stress), but I am a med tech, which is not exactly a transferable job, especially in my area. Alas, without a job – no insurance – and my husband I somehow fall between the cracks between Medicaid and ACA assistance, so no insurance either. Had to quit my job at a hospital b/c I couldn’t handle watching people suffer anymore (patients and their families). Sorry, not working, but this has been months in the making for me. But I forgave myself, and I’m trying to make up for it today. I was just bone tired for no reason at all. Yesterday I couldn’t get off the couch – couldn’t wake up, in spite of 3+ cups of coffee. Couldn’t hurt, anyway, and it gives the Xanax two more minutes to kick in: But it’s only two minutes, and it does do something nice for me. Because the last thing that you want to do when you’re all “SHITSHITSHIT” is sit down and think about nothing but breathing for 2 minutes. I think the trick is remembering, in the moment, to do it. I use it WAY more often than recommended, in addition to a variety of Judy Garland trail mix, and while I don’t fall asleep instantly, I do feel more calm when I’ve finished doing a set than when I start. I’m pretty sure the reason you put your tongue behind your teeth to exhale isn’t to complete some psychic circuit – it’s just so you don’t get dry mouth. 4-7-8 breathing has been doing good things for my anxiety.
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